His birthday. 29/4/2013

I would say it is rare I pay effort to wish/ celebrate one's birthday. For me, birthday is a special day to appreciate god that has given such a person to your life. A person who can left so much impact on your life positively that you appreciate you have the person in your life.

Yesterday was 428 birthday. Many people confused that his birthday is on 28 April. No. 428 is the indication of his name. [Only for me]. His birthday is on 29/4/2013

This year is the 4th time I wish you happy birthday since I know you and also XXXXXXX. I text you for the first and second year. Third year, I made a first call between us to you. And this year, I decided to post a photo.

That looks simple. But actually efforts made it.
-I think of how to arrange the photo.
-How to put in creativity
-Asked my friends out to help me
-Purposely went out to printing shop to print
-Posed the night before
-NG and redo
-Edit
-Make up because I meant it
-Rushing all day cause I only have limited time to do that
-Skipped my lunch

I'm satisfied with it. I really hope you like it.
I have thousands of word untold. They have to be kept untold (at least for this moment, for this place). But I know you knew it. Thank you for letting me do that, I will not regret for the rest of my life by doing that. That's the promise.

3 seconds of Love

This is one of the scene in the Korean drama, 'Love Rain'.
The guy fall in love with the girl in 3 seconds. Love at first sight.

It is how amazing the love in 3 seconds can occur, can last.

The first time I looked into his eyes, he looked into my eyes, for 3 seconds, without a word. I was caught in the 3 seconds. The feeling towards him, lasts. Even after 2 years, the feeling is fresh, is deep.

I made many moves to him. It was peak. It was. But soon, a friend of us told me he has his girl. In his college. This is the 2nd time I get this news. One was 2 years ago. That ended fast.

This one, I guess it will last.

That 3 seconds, lasts forever in my life. It will never be cured, because he will never ever be mine. =''X

Never mind. The feeling, I will keep it properly, deep in my heart. Well. Keep in touch with him, be his best friend. 428.

Love at first sight doesn't fade, doesn't repeat, but does last.

Oops. It's been 2 months I abandoned this blog. So sorry...
Hmm. Today, what to share? Okay, let's tell you what I was feeling for the whole yesterday. And perhaps, it's another way of confessing? =P

Do you ever fall into the zone called love at first sight? It means, you fall in love with that person in your first sight of it?

It's been 2 and a half years, but I still can recall the feeling of first time I saw you. I did not know you before until once, my friend pointed you to me, at that very first moment, I liked you at my first glance, looking you pass by my side. Then, at the same day, you looked into each other, I can see myself in your eyes. we looked at each other without saying a word for 3 seconds. Just those 3 seconds, I was trapped. The Korean drama, 'Love Rain' was mentioning that, in 3 seconds of sight, the man falls in love with the girls. It describes my situation. But I wonder why we couldn't make it. We just stopped there.

I thought that would be short. After all, I think, it's true and it lasts forever, perhaps.

I guess you know I had a man before. Sincerely, I was thinking about you even I was around with him, I was thinking how good if we can ever be together.

The feeling of me towards you is totally different and indescribable. When I see other friends or so-called crush, I can easily smile, talk to them, play with them. But with you, it's not like that at all.

When I last saw you, it was during junior circuit 2012 at Cheras hall. My heart beats fast, my mind went blank. I wanted to talk to you but I was so nervous. I did not wanna miss the chance, I told myself,"friend what!". However, it took me quite a long time to be brave enough to went close to you and started to talk to you. From that time onward, I knew. I knew you are the special one. The feeling of 'love at first sight' will only appear once? It doesn't fade, it doesn't repeat (as from the day I met you onward, I have not had that happen again).

I posted one of my photo on facebook. I quoted it: 'Dear crush, I want our relationship to be like Tom & Jerry; no matter how many times we fight, we won't be apart.' and notification pop out, you liked my photo! My first reaction was shout! It came so natural. It came so real. That's all because the feeling towards you is true.

I always think that, if I'm lucky enough to have you as mine in this life, I'm pretty sure we can last. And we will have many friends blessing us. If we failed this life, can we continue the chapter in next life?

But... God have the plan.

Blessed to have you. Appreciate everything even I don't own it.
我想说有你是幸福的。珍惜一切就算没有拥有。

428

I hate silent but afraid of the reality

You said silent is the best way, is it? I hate it a lot you know? I wished to hear something from you, but you just kept silent! I wonder but I afraid of the reality. I afraid that the answer you would give is totally opposing the answer I wished to have.

People always got ready for what answer they will have, but when it comes to the real situation, I bet, every one will hope that, there is a miracle.

What is it? 'Miracle occurs when you start believing.' What is it? I believe! But what I have got from you? I got silent from you.

This morning I was in my room alone, suddenly there was a thought came to my mind. One day, when a woman beside you wearing wedding clothes and saying 'I do' will not be me, I collapse perhaps. I wish to be with you, I have never said that before but when I say so, that means I mean it! I wonder why we can't...

I should have been giving up since before the meet at GP final. I should have determined to give up, to let go. But not be determined to that feeling that made me heartbeat, not be determined to that 3 seconds of looking at each other when we 1st met in Perlis.

I wished not to think too much. And I really do not know what I want. If someone come and ask me to give up, I don't wanna listen. But if someone come and ask me to continue, too, I don't wanna listen.

Give up? No. Continue? No.
What I want? What can I do?

='(

IMY 428

IMY. I had a new practice. Every time when I log in to Facebook, automatically I will type your name and read your profile. Either your latest status, or the comments between you and your friend and even stare at those girl posted on your wall. I can know more about you like this. I do not want to disturb you every time...

Yesterday evening, finally I saw you online as I had been waiting for the whole day. I explained that 'towel matter', by the way saying that both of us are in affinity. You just answered me with 'Lol'. Quite disappointed. First time you let me to miss you, second time I will aspect more from you. But I think for you, it's a bit too fast... Right? Taurus. But I'm happy that you are not longer like last time went offline like that or just did not make any reply. I'm satisfied.

You changed. But I like it. No. I love it. I really wonder, do we have chance?

That day I did a test. A male name required, of course is your name stated. Then 4 songs are required. First song is from Bruno Mars and this first song is related to the first male name that I stated. So accurate that I have put you and this song together. I'd love a sentence of lyric: Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you. < 3

love 428

23 May 2011
I borrowed my roommate's laptop to online. Saw your thumbnail in the chat list. As you have been there more longer than me, and I wanted to know how to take bus, so I asked you.

So surprise that you asked more than I asked. 1st time ever you be the one asking questions. Normally I will be asking and you will be saying like 'yupp..', 'nono' this kinda respond. But that day you asked me so many questions.

And then, I send 'imy' to you. But you do not know the meaning. Then I wished to keep quiet, as I worry once I say the meaning you will appear offline. But you send 'zzz'. I just don't feel like wanna disappoint you, I told you the meaning of 'imy' is I miss you.

Soon, I asked 'can?' I really thought that you would just keep quiet and don't do any reply. But my prediction all gone wrong! So happy I got it wrong! You say 'can, I didn't say cannot also'

Oh my gosh! Suddenly feel like I can fly. 1st few minutes before that I was message-ing with Tze Ai. I said I miss her, she said what if you say you miss me? I say I would jump out from the balcony. When I saw your reply--can.. I didn't say cannot also, I just felt like I almost wanna jump.

So happy! So damn happy! But I have to give back the laptop, so I have to offline. I asked can just chat on sms, you do reply that you don't reply because expensive. You told me why but not I asked why!

After that, about 5 minutes ago, my roommate went to take bath, so I quickly online to chat with you. You offline! Looks normal, but I feel that you wait for me, you knew I was going to offline, you chat with me until I offline then only you offline~

LOL. I'm really happy. Even feel sweet just drinking water. =)
Just wanna say... I love 428!

I will be right here waiting for you

I wait for you.

This need a lot of courage.

It needs much more courage than saying 'I Love You'

Not every one I will wait for.

And too,

No one deserve me to wait for,

just except you.

This

'I wait for you'

is a promise.

For you.

And please remember,

this promise

valid forever...

okay~ I stay behind

Your latest status:
'Yes, I'm single again~'

I smiled quietly in my deep heart.

And I wondering,
why the girl treat you like this?

A little bit feel sad for you...

Anyway,
I decided,
I will continue follow you.
I will continue stay behind you.
I will never leave you.

And also,
I decided,
I will just read any of your post,
but not comment.

Because,
I scare.

I scare any one day in future,
when I tried to look into your profile,
I would find that,
I can't.

I would find that,
you removed me as your friend.

I won't let this happen.
As what I said...
I will just stay behind you quietly...

I can be sad for whole afternoon just because of your little action

I posted a question on your wall yesterday.
Asking you about scholarship.

Today,
I logged in my facebook account.

After checking all the notification,
I noticed that the thumbnail didn't appear in it.

I went and look at your wall,

My post lost.

I understand.

Simply,
I can be down or sad,
just because your minor action.

428, Happy Birthday on 29 April

How to describe?
29 April.

Should be said as
'again'

29 April 2010
I was also saying 'happy birthday' softly.

Today?
A soft 'Happy Birthday'
Tucked with my helplessness, sour, and bitter.
Did you feel that?
I think no.

"The words were cold and flat,
You deserve more than that"---westlife-Home

Wished to have a special status to celebrate your birthday

But I think,
You do have her,right?

I met you in my dream last night.
Should be
'again'

The fifth time you appear in my dream.

The special day,
I can dream of you.

I miss you.
I <3 you

I just a little too far from you

It seems like,

You have got her.

She have got you.

Hey~

I still at behind of you...

DO you notice that?

I think I shouldn't follow any more.

I just simply wanna determine

the feeling that makes me heart beat.

But no one understand!

I hate those words

like

'cheer', 'Let go', 'don't think too much', 'try to forget him'

Right before you deleted all those non-related comments,

I have read all.

You purposely left the 1st comments.

Why?

Because it is my answer.

I wonder if you ever think of me?

For a while? A little bit?

1st moment I entered Facebook.

1st pop-out is your status.

1st of my reaction is I stopped breathing.

=(

What I think of, What I dream of

Yesterday.
I didn't find you.
I didn't sms you,
I didn't chat with you.

I just dare to think about you quietly
I just dare to talk about you softly

When you were online-ing.
I went offline.

It's because I'm hiding from you?
Yes. May be.

I don't wanna
click at your thumbnail,
type some words
and wait for your not-going-to-reply...

And again last night.
I dreamed about you.
It's been the 4th or 5th time I had that.

I miss you... :(

Spec look~

These are also things that I wanna share few days ago...
The spec below isn't mine too.
Borrow from Foo Jen Suan.
My x-partner.
Suit me, right?
Because I'm 'white' enough

This is da look I took the photo with *him(take out the spec)

I love that photo. We look sweet and close.

But not really.I L*** You...

This is the moment when I got the news that you may have girlfriend.

I lost my smile. :(

Sorry That I loved you

I remember...
There was a year ago.
The 1st time we met.
We were looking at each other,
more than 3 seconds,
without a word spoke out.

I was not aware that,
the 3 seconds bring me to a special feeling on you.

After all,
I found that
we were facing SPM.
We will not be able to continue.

Thus,
I forget about you slowly by time.
Even I thought that
I didn't love you any more...

But it isn't true~
When I see you again,
The feeling is back.

People are greedy.
With a simple photo
Will expect you to love ...
Wishful thinking is wishful thinking ...
It'll never be.

Many people asked me to let go.

I don't want...
It's been a long time
I have never fell in love in such way.

Rare,
Your presence ...

But want me to let go?
I don't want.
Unwilling to do so perhaps.

If one day,
I do not love any more,
It doesn't mean that I don't love,
But I do not know how to love any more...

The one I love is only you

I just knew that.
You may have girlfriend.

Suddenly,
It got me down down down...

Why every body look this bad?

But nehmind.

I believe I can.
I love you since last year.
I know you have known this.

I hope you do not have girlfriend yet.
I hope you can gimme chance.

I know you as a Taurus.
Will not easily fall in love.

That day you say yes when I begged you to take photo with me.
You so nervous when you worry I will cry.

This make me feels I'm special.
Although it's not really.

But I will force myself to believe...

Can you give us a chance?

I have a special feeling that I never had before.
But it seems like impossible.

I feel like I wanna m***y you