It's the time

I cool down. I calm. And I know, this is the time for me to change.

Credit to the drama, [The Fierce Wife], gave me some strength. I will change. A lot of quote from it is like a bullet shoot into my heart.

I will be a better one, waiting for a better him. Better than him. I will make him regret for leaving me. I will good enough to let him feel disappointed to himself. I will be.

I went to buy books. I love it. I bought it with the RM100 voucher. Left with RM100 voucher. Gotta buy some more after I finish these.

*I went to movie last night as well. [Ah Beng]. Funny + touching. Malaysian chinese, remember to support it =)

My look last night. I love this shirt=) Can anyone notice the the hair that I have highlighted? =D

yes. not coming back, going away instead

Every time I online I also click into his porfile. Although I am afraid that one day i would probably see his photo with her appears

Yet, what I afraid has just happened to me. As usual, I typed 'R'into the facebook search engine. This time I saw photo. You and her. Yes, you and her...

It's hard. I admit, I cry. What the hell? Can I undo everything even before we start? This shouldn't be our ending... It should not... everything happens wrongly. Everything happens suddenly. Can I undo?

I was not feeling well last night. Your shadow kept poping out in my mind. I never thought that this is tje ending of our story.

How much I regret for uploading the photo, do you know? What can I eo for myself. I have no idea... I just know I feel very pain. Any medicine to cure?

675, I love you. Sorry for.the late. I miss you, I missed.you.

Is it coming back? Perhaps no.

This morning, my mom told me one thing.

He had a damn angry status updated. He like very angry, saying that someone has cheated on him. He was so stupid, being cheated again and again.

His ex did comment.

'Yes! End!'

*This was the comment as my mom told me.

Then, the whole status update was deleted.

What happened? Can anyone tell me? I feel like wanna text him, but I don't think he will reply. Seriously, I worry him.

I still hoping for him.

But others seem like do not agree.

Is this coming back to me? Or it is just a false appearance? Or I think too much?

My friend told me, not to put so much hope on it. I just don't know how to control it.

629, how are you? Will you reply me if I text you? Will you tell me what happened if I ask you? I still here.

42nd day

New semester without you, Day 2.

Things would change if I never ever uploaded that photo of you on facebook. Finally I understand why you do not like our relationship to be so open to others. I damn regret for uploading the photo. Can I undo? Things would change. You would be mine. I still would be

yours. I wouldn't be paying the price.

I just saw a quote.

I miss you, the old you. The new one sucks.

I hate the new you. Because you do the thing I hate the most.

Can I have the time turned back to the time before I upload the photo?

First time ever I feel regret about something.

I'm sick. How good if you were here? I sure I will never feel hard for this moment.

I miss you, seriously.

I'm the champion

13-15/01/2012

Finally, 3 days of tournament has come to an end. IT'S TIRING.

But glad that, I'm the champion for the woman single for Masiswa Circuit.

For easy to understand, let A-the one I lost in final at Melaka. B-the one I won in semi at Melaka.

I lost to B in the grouping match, straight set.(I lost quite 'UGLY') It's quite in disadvantage as I have to play A in semi first. I won A, then played with B AGAIN in final. I admit that I look down

on B is the main reason I lose. During the final, yeah. I did it. I won it nicely. Straight set.

*I did something to make my game easier, but of course I did to myself, not by making her injured or whatsoever. It really works. =D

So happy right now. Although I really tired. Gonna sleep after this post.

I love this champion. It COULD be perfect. Slightly imperfect, slightly. =')

How good if Y is still beside me, supporting me, encouraging me?

How perfect if a hug or a kiss from Y after I get out from the court?

How good if I can share this happiness with Y?

How good if I can have Y to pat my head and say well done?

How good if I can see Y within my eyesight when I was playing?

How good if I can take the prize and go to celebrate with Y?

It slightly imperfect.

This tournament has come to an end. Our relationship also, has come to

an end. The real end.

Never mind, I will find someone like you.

My gold medal~ < 3

37th day

I met him. On the 37th day of B.

I can't really imagine this is what happened.

The love cycle really happens to me.

Seeing him happy with our friends, but he doesn't even look at me. Erm... He did. A glance. Erm... Few glance.

Stranger.

I thought I can be strong. I thought I can overcome that situation.

But in fact, I failed.

I saw him happy talking, laughing with our friends, my heart pain. Nope! I have no heart. I felt nothing. I felt like a I fall into a big black hole. I felt empty.

I reached house, I scare of being alone. I scare of being abandon. So? I do being alone, being abandon.

Wake up girl. Tomorrow start the game. You promise yourself for the champion. Don't you remember that? Don't you remember what happened during the last 2 GP Final? Those are the lesson. DO NOT REPEAT THEM!

Don't be afraid. You were just born alone. Nothing to be afraid of. Well, listen. Right now, you have nothing to lose, what to afraid of? Be yourself girl. Stay strong. *I mean it.