友情还是那么不堪一击

到底要写英文还是华语？还是华语吧...
曾经一个不会华语的朋友跟我说，会华语太好，总能用很优美的词汇描述某些事情，英文不太好用...真的好久没有用华语写东西了.

Blogger 都不流行了吧？大家都会上面子书打卡了...可是有时候，我还会回来， 抒发情怀，还有，有些事，摊在面子书上好像就没有余地了...怎么说，部落格是用心，用情写的，面子书是冲动写的。

曾经的友情就是被赤裸裸地摊在面书上，然后就挽不回了，更成了心里的一道经常溢血的伤口，它连疤都不是。

那么久了，还是觉得，友情还是那么不堪一击



8月亲手送把她上情路...没想过那么多，就希望她能幸福（好像很伟大那样，可是就真的只是想看她开开心心)。那时我不知道，其实朋友是那么卑微，但是一个男/女字加下去，生命的重量就完全不同了。

她的他去台湾实习，那时的我太幸福了！我们常说的"two is always better than one"。几乎一星期见7天，去哪儿也是两个人。听她说着他的事，好的坏的。陪她去做为了他的事。

最近他回来了 。

最近总感觉被遗弃了。

巴厘岛的事，我陪你跑上跑下，陪你熬夜，到最后你去不了，我整天都想着你。

坐上巴士，飞机，原本你坐我旁边，原本你睡我旁边，原本两人会到处看。我一直跟班上的学友说我想你。

在国外都考wi-fi，明天一回到hotel就是开wifi，看有没有你的whatsapp。第一天很开心，能够跟你分享，快乐有两人分享就成双份，快乐剩一人分享只剩一半。在巴厘岛的第二天，他回来了，你都不回我了。也许你不明白我真的真的真的很讨厌那感觉.。

看你在面书上打卡，他面书上打卡，从接机-回家的惊喜-收礼物-做早餐，忘记了在另外一个国家，千辛万苦才抢到wifi线，whatsapp 却没响过的人...

一直以来，你都是班上最迟会的那个，我一放课就往家里跑的人。其实你发现我们交换角色了吗？你爱回家是因为有个人会等着你，那你知道我留下又是为什么吗？留得久一点，我们能聊天的时间就多点，我最近都是比你早到，比你迟回的 ，你应该没发现吧...

他的小事，你就不得不陪他。其实他回来了以后，我很不喜欢听你说着你和他的东西，很嫉妒一个“朋友”和一个“男朋友”的地位是那样，很酸我自己连喜欢的人都没有。当没有喜欢的人，离乡背井的人，心灵寄托就是朋友 。

最近学着自己一个人，不说我们，说我。

我不想你因为看了这些变得很为难，特意迁就我，没意义，但是自己又介意...所以，决定乖乖的带着那一到高傲，独行的面具

如果你看到了，没关系，我只是发发牢骚。继续做你自己想做的就好了

The man

I think I have found out the reason why did I ever have the attraction towards my ex. Because of his attitude. He is not that kind of shy type. If he wanted to talk to me, he would straight away come to my front, if he wanted to give me something, he would straight away put it in my hand. May be I like the feeling of being 'owned'. He could do whatever because I was his.

Today met a guy. He said he has feeling towards me before we have ever met. I don't really believe in such thing. It's kind of weird isn't it? You see a pretty girl, you add her, you chat with her and you develop feelings toward her? How funny.

He wanted to give me thing. He gave me from my back and said I didn't look at him. I was like: huh? okay.

There is the contrast you see? My ex, he will just put something that he wanted to give me straight on me. Not like this kinda shy-type-guy.

Well. I'm not trying to criticize anyone. But just want to tell the guys out there, don't be shy to do something. Girls will always keep your face in front of many people. If they wanna clarify, they will tell privately.

I found something cute! If you want to be together? You have TO GET HER. It's from the word, to-get-her.

His birthday. 29/4/2013

I would say it is rare I pay effort to wish/ celebrate one's birthday. For me, birthday is a special day to appreciate god that has given such a person to your life. A person who can left so much impact on your life positively that you appreciate you have the person in your life.

Yesterday was 428 birthday. Many people confused that his birthday is on 28 April. No. 428 is the indication of his name. [Only for me]. His birthday is on 29/4/2013

This year is the 4th time I wish you happy birthday since I know you and also XXXXXXX. I text you for the first and second year. Third year, I made a first call between us to you. And this year, I decided to post a photo.

That looks simple. But actually efforts made it.
-I think of how to arrange the photo.
-How to put in creativity
-Asked my friends out to help me
-Purposely went out to printing shop to print
-Posed the night before
-NG and redo
-Edit
-Make up because I meant it
-Rushing all day cause I only have limited time to do that
-Skipped my lunch

I'm satisfied with it. I really hope you like it.
I have thousands of word untold. They have to be kept untold (at least for this moment, for this place). But I know you knew it. Thank you for letting me do that, I will not regret for the rest of my life by doing that. That's the promise.

12/12/12

The last repetitive day I can ever see. 12/12/12. This is nothing special to post about actually. But when I look through instagram, I saw poeple posted about 11/11/11. Then I remember something.

When I saw 11/11/11, I recalled what I was doing. What is the special that had happened? Then I remember.

That was the time, he and I were still doing fine. I remember that was Thursday night, I slept late because Thursday was the day I had badminton session until 11pm (if Im not mistaken). Then I purposely wait in front of my laptop to reach 12am, 11/11/11, the first moment of 11/11/11 and I sent him a facebook message, telling him something normal couples do, telling him 'I love you'. 

And when I was ready to sleep, roughly half an hour later, he texted me, he said 'babe, love ya'... 

The arousal that 11/11/11 gave me is much stronger than 12/12/12 because there was all '1'. And I'm glad that, I get to have someone special, a message that is so special in the special moment. I'm thankful although it has ended long ago. 

I do not feel any uncomfortable. I just wanna tell that, I'm thankful to what I had and what I have now as on him.

I had him with me in that special day, special moment, special message and a special him

What I have now, it's enough. We are like normal friend, calling each others' name, looking to each other, talking to each other, and a sweet smile from each other. I like it. I like it this way. Thankful.

I watched a short film this morning, it's so true.

"Be thankful to what I had was a paradise, and when we are, be thankful too."

Have a look here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSdELZxEnHY&feature=share

Be thankful =)

I'm exhausted and sick

What a busy holiday. Non-stop with assignment. And well, I'm sick.

It's so hard when misunderstanding or 'beh song' happens in group assignment. I try to have all of them feel good with me and I fail.

When all the thing haven't started yet, you should have agreement on everyone. Agreement on what are we doing. But some, they just keep quiet during discussion. Until everything is done, until the last moment, they say that's not the way.

Well. How? Some how we will not do it all over again. Then? Are you trying to say I'm wrong? I did not follow majority? I did not accept what you say? But do you remember what you did when I asked your opinion on that? Do you remember how you answered it? Perhaps, you will think that I did not ask you. But I remember it well! You said you have no comment and wouldn't do extra any more. Did you?

And others just follow. When something happened, group leader should be blamed on. That day, 5 of us in the discussion. One says do not ask him. So, I have convinced another 2 on that. And you have no comment. We seem to agreed on that. Seem to. And now?

That is a 25-pages assignment. I worked from morning until mid-night. I'm fine if you do not appreciate. May be it is not good enough. But do you know how many work have u done on it?

I know it is impolite to post here. But seems the last apology to you is already failed. I tried to be friendly, open but... I really do not know what to say. I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed.

Everything will be fine. I feel sick. Thanks for your time. I just want to 'pour bitter water'. Not to blaming anyone.

3 seconds of Love

This is one of the scene in the Korean drama, 'Love Rain'.
The guy fall in love with the girl in 3 seconds. Love at first sight.

It is how amazing the love in 3 seconds can occur, can last.

The first time I looked into his eyes, he looked into my eyes, for 3 seconds, without a word. I was caught in the 3 seconds. The feeling towards him, lasts. Even after 2 years, the feeling is fresh, is deep.

I made many moves to him. It was peak. It was. But soon, a friend of us told me he has his girl. In his college. This is the 2nd time I get this news. One was 2 years ago. That ended fast.

This one, I guess it will last.

That 3 seconds, lasts forever in my life. It will never be cured, because he will never ever be mine. =''X

Never mind. The feeling, I will keep it properly, deep in my heart. Well. Keep in touch with him, be his best friend. 428.

Short Sem?!

because I had been focus for 2 hours. I can't really focus right now. So take some time to update this blog.

This is the 1st short sem in my life. I have never thought that would be this packed.


Week 1 is new week. Classes are not really packed and filled with knowledge. Just casual
Week 2 is normal week. I attended classes as usual.
Week 3 is SUKIPT tournament. It stands for Sukan Institusi Pengajian Tinggi. Hmm... The result is not satisfying. In fact, a bit disappointing. I think I gotta pay more hardwork on my badminton.
Week 4 is assignment-rushing week. I have not really stop working on the assignmentsss progress. ( I put 3s because I have 3 assignments). And I also have sit for 3 mid term within a week. What a bravo week.

****** This is until now. ******

Week 5 is unofficial mid-sem break. Deepavali and other public holiday. (This is for me to rush my assignment, because
Week 6 is the submission of all the 3 assignmentsss weeks. Indeed, 4 assignmentssss.
Week 7 last official class week

then end of the short sem. I predict. So fast. I feel like I just started my new semester and it's going to end.

okay... I want to share some photos with you.

a cute her

The first time we get to know each other, feel like very close. I miss you. 

nice person, good player, humble girl.

I gotta get married soon!!! XP

Making up. Halloween make up technique.

my mom shocked when she saw this. Credit to Shiang Ling. =D This is for video shooting for assignment.

This is from the cute 38 po. Like this and her. She can always make me smile like  the doll from SUKIPT