12/12/12

The last repetitive day I can ever see. 12/12/12. This is nothing special to post about actually. But when I look through instagram, I saw poeple posted about 11/11/11. Then I remember something.

When I saw 11/11/11, I recalled what I was doing. What is the special that had happened? Then I remember.

That was the time, he and I were still doing fine. I remember that was Thursday night, I slept late because Thursday was the day I had badminton session until 11pm (if Im not mistaken). Then I purposely wait in front of my laptop to reach 12am, 11/11/11, the first moment of 11/11/11 and I sent him a facebook message, telling him something normal couples do, telling him 'I love you'. 

And when I was ready to sleep, roughly half an hour later, he texted me, he said 'babe, love ya'... 

The arousal that 11/11/11 gave me is much stronger than 12/12/12 because there was all '1'. And I'm glad that, I get to have someone special, a message that is so special in the special moment. I'm thankful although it has ended long ago. 

I do not feel any uncomfortable. I just wanna tell that, I'm thankful to what I had and what I have now as on him.

I had him with me in that special day, special moment, special message and a special him

What I have now, it's enough. We are like normal friend, calling each others' name, looking to each other, talking to each other, and a sweet smile from each other. I like it. I like it this way. Thankful.

I watched a short film this morning, it's so true.

"Be thankful to what I had was a paradise, and when we are, be thankful too."

Have a look here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSdELZxEnHY&feature=share

Be thankful =)

I'm exhausted and sick

What a busy holiday. Non-stop with assignment. And well, I'm sick.

It's so hard when misunderstanding or 'beh song' happens in group assignment. I try to have all of them feel good with me and I fail.

When all the thing haven't started yet, you should have agreement on everyone. Agreement on what are we doing. But some, they just keep quiet during discussion. Until everything is done, until the last moment, they say that's not the way.

Well. How? Some how we will not do it all over again. Then? Are you trying to say I'm wrong? I did not follow majority? I did not accept what you say? But do you remember what you did when I asked your opinion on that? Do you remember how you answered it? Perhaps, you will think that I did not ask you. But I remember it well! You said you have no comment and wouldn't do extra any more. Did you?

And others just follow. When something happened, group leader should be blamed on. That day, 5 of us in the discussion. One says do not ask him. So, I have convinced another 2 on that. And you have no comment. We seem to agreed on that. Seem to. And now?

That is a 25-pages assignment. I worked from morning until mid-night. I'm fine if you do not appreciate. May be it is not good enough. But do you know how many work have u done on it?

I know it is impolite to post here. But seems the last apology to you is already failed. I tried to be friendly, open but... I really do not know what to say. I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed.

Everything will be fine. I feel sick. Thanks for your time. I just want to 'pour bitter water'. Not to blaming anyone.

3 seconds of Love

This is one of the scene in the Korean drama, 'Love Rain'.
The guy fall in love with the girl in 3 seconds. Love at first sight.

It is how amazing the love in 3 seconds can occur, can last.

The first time I looked into his eyes, he looked into my eyes, for 3 seconds, without a word. I was caught in the 3 seconds. The feeling towards him, lasts. Even after 2 years, the feeling is fresh, is deep.

I made many moves to him. It was peak. It was. But soon, a friend of us told me he has his girl. In his college. This is the 2nd time I get this news. One was 2 years ago. That ended fast.

This one, I guess it will last.

That 3 seconds, lasts forever in my life. It will never be cured, because he will never ever be mine. =''X

Never mind. The feeling, I will keep it properly, deep in my heart. Well. Keep in touch with him, be his best friend. 428.

Short Sem?!

because I had been focus for 2 hours. I can't really focus right now. So take some time to update this blog.

This is the 1st short sem in my life. I have never thought that would be this packed.


Week 1 is new week. Classes are not really packed and filled with knowledge. Just casual
Week 2 is normal week. I attended classes as usual.
Week 3 is SUKIPT tournament. It stands for Sukan Institusi Pengajian Tinggi. Hmm... The result is not satisfying. In fact, a bit disappointing. I think I gotta pay more hardwork on my badminton.
Week 4 is assignment-rushing week. I have not really stop working on the assignmentsss progress. ( I put 3s because I have 3 assignments). And I also have sit for 3 mid term within a week. What a bravo week.

****** This is until now. ******

Week 5 is unofficial mid-sem break. Deepavali and other public holiday. (This is for me to rush my assignment, because
Week 6 is the submission of all the 3 assignmentsss weeks. Indeed, 4 assignmentssss.
Week 7 last official class week

then end of the short sem. I predict. So fast. I feel like I just started my new semester and it's going to end.

okay... I want to share some photos with you.

a cute her

The first time we get to know each other, feel like very close. I miss you. 

nice person, good player, humble girl.

I gotta get married soon!!! XP

Making up. Halloween make up technique.

my mom shocked when she saw this. Credit to Shiang Ling. =D This is for video shooting for assignment.

This is from the cute 38 po. Like this and her. She can always make me smile like  the doll from SUKIPT

The Hug

Not to be misunderstood, the post title is just something pop out on my mind when I was thinking the title for this.

I was on the way back to KL here for this coming Saturday tournament. It was Wednesday night. I got down from train and went to wash room. When I was heading to LRT station, I saw my friend, Liang Bin.

I ran near to him and pushed him from the back. When he saw me, he was surprise, happy, excited. He opened his arm and we gave each other a friendly hug. Hug does warm people. Sometimes hug means more than a kiss.

Me, I don't really believe in friendship like I always do. But my foundation friends were the best I could say. We just true friends. We share ideas, secrets, jokes and many more. We do not talk bad about anyone of us in our gang of 10.

I miss how we used to be in foundation. Since second semester of foundation, 10 of us were always together.

-There were always the places that we all 10 sat around in lecturer class
-We went to Mamak for our lunch together everyday
-We have almost 95% of the same time table
-We plan our time table for the following semester for 10 of us
-We will have poker card or monopoly card to play during the break
-We will bring snacks to share
-We will have our Friday-Sure-Jam-So-Dinner after 6pm class
-We will stay at McDonald for more than 1 hours just to talk and laugh and play
-We will post for each other for those who enrols in drawing class
-We will share the sweater if cold
-We will have taller people to hold the umbrella during sunny day or rain

************************************************************************
Each of us have different personality.
(Which one do you think you are?)
-We have the one who always shuffle the cards but not playing
-We have the one who always act cool but actually wanting to laugh
-We have the one who always walk at the back, make sure others are safe
-We have the one who always eats slow
-We have the one who always laugh at Not-So-Funny-Jokes
-We have the one who always comes late
-We have the one who always have many so-called magic to cheat people(epic fail)
-We have the one who always talks loud yet saying wants to be lady
-We have the one who always prepare sweater in his bag but not for himself
************************************************************************

I just love the way we are. Don't you all? I miss the foundation. I miss you all. May God bless you all. Wish you all the best. Hope to meet up in very soon.

Where is the key chain that I give you? Melaka one and the Sarawak one? =)

Lesson, Learned.

Sometimes, I feel sympathy to myself when I remember how I let myself heartbroken and how I can ever alive from there.

The first day is the worst. I cried the whole day. 7/12/2012. My tears never stop on that day.

The night he told me that, I can’t really fall asleep until alarm rang, until the moment I was really awake, really clear of everything, really had to face the world, I was afraid. I wanted to escape but no way I can do that. The moment I opened my eye, the strongest mind came into was: I want to die. It was not due to I lost my love but I did not know how to face the world, I don’t like people sympathy me. I hate that! Feel like being a loser, loser from the love war. I don’t want my family to worry about me. I just wanted them to know I was fine although I was really not! That is why; I wanted to die, away from all those compassions, worries toward me.

I was just down and emotional. And I started my day like usual, and then attend school by bus. In the bus, I was listening to song. With the companion of the rhythm and music, the feeling was finally released. I cried non-stop. During class, I was crying but yet still listening to the lecturing. I even answered lecturer’s question with the tears in my eyes.

Then my friend tried to console me, they sat beside me, I told everything hardly because I was crying too hard. A word, an action, a memory could easily made my feeling jumping out again.

Afternoon, I was in the same situation trying to sleep, but it failed for sure. I cried until I can feel my tears gonna dried up. That moment, I was lucky to have tears. I know how it feels when you have no tears to cry later about 1 month. At least, your tears contain your feeling, it was released out, but with no tears, no way to express, by there you will know what the lyric of the song called ‘I learned to live half alive’ means.

Night, I talked to my close friend. I brought along my small tower because I know a bag of tissue paper will not be enough for me. My eye swallowed and dried. I can feel like I have no more tears but still there are.

**The part hurt the most is not about leaving the one you love, but the life you have to face in the following days. You have to face them alone, trying to console back family members telling them you are okay, showing them you are okay but in fact you just wanna cry. It’s already hard to face it, the worst is, and the memories of both of you keep popping out from time to time.

I don’t really know how can I pass through that stage. I agree the say that saying Cancer takes a lifetime to forget a person. Perhaps, it’s true. The only different between ‘that time’, ‘now’ and ‘then’ is, that time, I wanted to be with him again. Now, I know he doesn’t worth it, I won’t be sticking around anymore. Then, he is just a person I used to love, I used to know, who used to teach me what love is.

【Just to share】

Love at first sight doesn't fade, doesn't repeat, but does last.

Oops. It's been 2 months I abandoned this blog. So sorry...
Hmm. Today, what to share? Okay, let's tell you what I was feeling for the whole yesterday. And perhaps, it's another way of confessing? =P

Do you ever fall into the zone called love at first sight? It means, you fall in love with that person in your first sight of it?

It's been 2 and a half years, but I still can recall the feeling of first time I saw you. I did not know you before until once, my friend pointed you to me, at that very first moment, I liked you at my first glance, looking you pass by my side. Then, at the same day, you looked into each other, I can see myself in your eyes. we looked at each other without saying a word for 3 seconds. Just those 3 seconds, I was trapped. The Korean drama, 'Love Rain' was mentioning that, in 3 seconds of sight, the man falls in love with the girls. It describes my situation. But I wonder why we couldn't make it. We just stopped there.

I thought that would be short. After all, I think, it's true and it lasts forever, perhaps.

I guess you know I had a man before. Sincerely, I was thinking about you even I was around with him, I was thinking how good if we can ever be together.

The feeling of me towards you is totally different and indescribable. When I see other friends or so-called crush, I can easily smile, talk to them, play with them. But with you, it's not like that at all.

When I last saw you, it was during junior circuit 2012 at Cheras hall. My heart beats fast, my mind went blank. I wanted to talk to you but I was so nervous. I did not wanna miss the chance, I told myself,"friend what!". However, it took me quite a long time to be brave enough to went close to you and started to talk to you. From that time onward, I knew. I knew you are the special one. The feeling of 'love at first sight' will only appear once? It doesn't fade, it doesn't repeat (as from the day I met you onward, I have not had that happen again).

I posted one of my photo on facebook. I quoted it: 'Dear crush, I want our relationship to be like Tom & Jerry; no matter how many times we fight, we won't be apart.' and notification pop out, you liked my photo! My first reaction was shout! It came so natural. It came so real. That's all because the feeling towards you is true.

I always think that, if I'm lucky enough to have you as mine in this life, I'm pretty sure we can last. And we will have many friends blessing us. If we failed this life, can we continue the chapter in next life?

But... God have the plan.

Blessed to have you. Appreciate everything even I don't own it.
我想说有你是幸福的。珍惜一切就算没有拥有。

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